I’m looking forward to the day when life doesn’t feel so scary. The fear of the future stops me. The fear of failure. The fear of not having enough to sustain my energy. My happiness. My laughter. My joy. Which is only a condition if future thinking. There is no failure in the present, no lacking, only possibility. Options. Movement.
Scarcity has much to do with this. If there is not enough love then that means there wasn’t enough in the past and there won’t be enough in the future. Therefore the present is inadequate. I can’t not be satisfied with the present. In reality, the present is just enough. It is satisfactory. It is no more or no less that what you should expect.
One day, I will understand nothing but abundance of the present moment. The past and the present will not be of my concern.
So, why don’t I choose now? Because everything I wrote above, which I do believe to be true, is chained to fear. I won’t let it grow within me. If I do, I would become fearless. I don’t know who I would become if I was fearless. What I would say? How would I act? Through fearlessness I would access my ultimate self. Powerful beyond any current understanding of the woman I am today. I’m not ready but one day I will be.
One day, I will arrive to exact place that I’ve already been standing. Standing within my power, which was never outside myself. Always there. Just waiting. Like spiders on a web. My power has patience but a potent bite.